At the turn of the year, I'll be the first to admit that things hadn't gone the way i would have liked in 2011, so the mission was on to change things in 2012. There was no great goal for me, just a series of broad ideas and things i could try and do, to shake off the effects of an unhappy 2011, and make 2012, my year, and a happy year.
I worked a late shift on New Year's Eve, and got home at half past 1, where i drained 2 full bottles of red wine, ate a 14" inch Asda Pizza with god knows how many calories and minimal nutritional value, and smoked at least a dozen fags, whilst sat there, drunk, slightly overweight, tired and miserable. I also knew that somethings had to change, and knew that maybe it was time not to keep on making excuses and get a grip of my own life again.
I got up at dinnertime on New Year's Day, feeling a bit ropey, feeling a bit hungover and ready for a few hours of sloth, sitting on my arse doing nowt, before going to work and being in the same cycle all over again. But what i did was something completely different. I poured myself a large glass of dilute orange juice, put on an old pair of tracksuit bottoms, a waterproof jacket and my pair of running shoes, that was the legacy of my latest futile attempt at running, and then turned my iPhone on, put the headphones on, and went running.
It wasn't the most successful run, i think i did a left, ran 100 yards to the bottom of the road at gentle pace, coughing and spluttering all the way, and hacking some up some dirty greenies, as i struggled and gasped for air. I did the grand total of 1.8k (i know because during my new hobby, my iPhone is now my best friend as it gives me the music that keeps me running, and records how far i have run, and how quickly (or slowly in my case) i have run. Most of it was spent walking trying to catch my breath, whilst the running parts was absolute torture. I arrived back home 15 minutes later, out of breath, sweating and feeling worse as my legs ached, my chest hurt, and i felt shattered, but it may go down as one of the best things i have done in my life, as if i hadn't made the attempt to do that run, then i might never have done it, and that single decision could influence the rest of my life.
I went again a couple of days later, in driving rain and gale force wind and left marginally better, and was marginally quicker, and my legs ached a little less than the first time i went, and i felt a bit better than i did that first time, but what came over me the rest of the day was a small but noticeable sensation of feeling a little bit happier, a little bit healthier, and a little bit more alive. I didn't enjoy being out in the cold and the wet, i didn't enjoy struggling with the run, but the pain was worth the gain.
A few days later, instead of my third run i had been and had a game of football, where i was still showing the classic signs of the unfit, overweight heavy smoker, who thought they could still play, but in all reality was slow, off the pace and to be quite honest a bit of an embarrassment, but i did feel a little bit fitter, made a couple of more runs that i had done before and noticed that i didn't hurt as much afterwards than i would normally do.
When i did my third run, it was teatime, and the Blades were at home that night, i could quite easily had my tea, watched telly, facebooked or tweeted until it was time to go to the match, but i had to go for a run, i had done two already and felt better for them, and i didn't see why i should let them first, painless efforts be in vain, so i decided at 5pm, i would be out on the street, trying to get and stay a bit fitter. I went out and did it, i was still slow, still coughing and spluttering but i got in a rhythm, and instead of doing 1.8k, i decided to keep straight on, instead of turning left and heading home, and try and do a longer run. I thought i might as well do it, as what did i have to lose, and as i went straight on, i felt mentally stronger, a little less physically weaker and more importantly i wanted to do it. I ended up doing a mixture of running and walking for the rest of the run, but i had challenged myself to do that bit more, I'd met that challenge and i felt absolutely superb for doing it.
It's not all been easy, and i have had to keep up some motivation to do it, tell myself that i need to do it, and force myself to get out there at times, whilst at other times i have felt an urge to throw on my running gear and just run because it is what i want to do. The thing is after nearly 4 weeks of this new fitness regime, I'm enjoying it, I'm feeling a lot better in myself both mentally and physically and in a way I'm doing something that is positive with my life. The greatest thing is the benefit that i feel from my new found running hobby. They are multiple, i feel stronger, i feel healthier, my breathing is better, i feel mentally stronger, i feel happier, I'm eating better, I'm sleeping better and i wonder why i didn't take up this before.
As i am 34 years old, and have not been in fit since i was a teenager, it is quite a bit step for me to take up a challenge like this, but I'm enjoying it that i feel that at time i have to reign myself in a bit, not push myself too much at this early stage, and be careful to avoid picking up injuries that will stop me from making the progress that i have recently made. The challenge now for me is to continue with my running and set myself a real goal. I'm toying with doing the Sheffield Half-Marathon in May. It is too soon to say if i will keep this up for long enough to be able to do the Half-Marathon, or that i will be able to do this in 4 months time, but it is a challenge, and it is a goal, and if i manage to do it, it will bring me a lot of benefit, but to be able to cross the finish line, having achieved it and done something worthwhile with my life will be one hell of a great feeling.
Now, i feel that I'm beginning to get a bit of control back over my own life and my own destiny, and that is one thing that is incredibly empowering
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